


Records

by AlexandrianSight



Series: Killing You is Hard [4]
Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-08 15:35:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7763374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexandrianSight/pseuds/AlexandrianSight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"She quickly wiped off the dust, knowing that it would read ‘Cave Johnson.’ Instead, though, she was met with a different name."</i>
</p><p>With most of her memories lost due to her time in Extended Relaxation, Chell ventures out to find any and all files on her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Agreement

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! I split this one up into two chapters bc it was just a bit too long. Also, there are a couple of links in this fic. They're purposeful and safe, I promise! (One is a link to a YouTube video of the Aperture jingle)

Chell stood in the bathroom mirror, staring at the reflection of her long, brown hair. She held a pair of scissors in one hand. 

It had been weeks since she’d returned to Aperture, and she’d had no luck in finding anything even resembling a hair tie. Her hair had grown quite quickly in the past year, especially compared to the fifty thousand years she’d spent in cryosleep. Maybe it was trying to make up for lost time.

Regardless, it was annoying. It fell far past her shoulder blades now, and wavy tangles of hair were getting caught around her neck and in her clothing. Once, a lock had even latched itself to her portal gun as she was exiting a portal. She remembered how embarrassed she’d felt trying to untangle it while one of GLaDOS’s cameras watched. It was time to get rid of the problem.

Still, Chell hesitated. She didn’t know why she was getting sentimental over her hair. If she remembered correctly, she used to get her hair cut all the time. She couldn’t remember ever caring about her hair, or her face, or her weight, or any other superficial trait. 

Of course, Chell was having a hard time admitting that she couldn’t remember much of  _ anything _ from her past. She still vividly remembered those first nineteen chambers and her fight with GLaDOS, but before that? It was all a blur. She didn’t know if it was because of how long she’d been in cryosleep, or if Aperture’s scientists had tampered with her memory before they all died of neurotoxin poisoning.

She could only remember snippets or vague facts about herself. She remembered that she was always quite athletic, but couldn’t recall playing any specific sports. She knew she was intelligent and educated, but didn’t know what college she had gone to, or what she might have majored in. She knew she’d been in a few relationships, but had no idea of any specifics. Were they with men? Women? Were they serious relationships? Were they flings? 

Had she left behind a loving partner when she became a test subject?

Chell shook her head, clearing her thoughts. She decided that that particular subject would be better off unknown. Besides, even if she  _ did _ have a partner before Aperture, they would be long dead by now, so it wouldn’t do any good to dwell on it. 

Chell took a piece of her hair with her hand, gently feeling it with her fingers. What troubled her most was that she couldn’t remember anything about her family life. Not even a vague idea of what it was like. GLaDOS’s old teasings of her being adopted, or abandoned on a doorstep, dwelled in the back of her mind. Part of her wondered if it was true, if she really hadn’t had any family. Maybe that was why she became a test subject. 

Chell pulled down on the piece of hair that she held, straightening it. She slowly brought the scissors up near her chin.

The gentle  _ snick _ of the scissors kept her grounded as she worked, doing her best to make an even cut. Hair fell down around her feet and part of her wondered where she’d left that one broom she’d found. Still, she kept working, allowing the sound  of the scissors to soothe her and distract her from her thoughts. 

She wasn’t sure how long it had taken her, exactly, but eventually she finished and put the scissors down. Chell leaned over the sink to look closely in the mirror and investigate her work. Her dark brown hair was now a bob. It looked pretty good, too. Chell turned her head to examine her profile and make sure it was even all around. It was no professional haircut, but it was better than she’d expected. It wasn’t cumbersome either; all she had to do was tuck her hair behind her ears to prevent it from getting in her face. She smiled, admiring this small feat. 

Remembering all the hair that had fallen to the ground, Chell went and found the broom in her closet and quickly swept it all up. As she returned the broom to its spot, she yawned and checked the clock on her nightstand. It was 11:49 at night. 

She took a quick shower to wash off any remaining hair before jumping into bed. Her sheets were comfortable, and her newly short hair didn’t wrap itself around her like it used to. Still, Chell had trouble falling asleep. Her mind insisted on dwelling on a past that she couldn’t remember, and she tossed and turned and attempted to clear her mind so she could sleep.

 

In the morning, Chell was awakened by the day cycle’s light as well as the Aperture  [ jingle ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTnmoyOhAz8&ab_channel=Cyriaqu3) . The Announcer had been deactivated weeks ago, but the jingle still served as her alarm clock. She usually got out of bed either with the jingle or a few seconds after it finished, but today she was too tired. She’d barely slept at all, and any sleep she’d gotten had been fitful. She rolled over and tried using her pillow to block out the light, letting out a sleepy groan. A few minutes later, GLaDOS’s voice sounded.

“Still in bed? That’s unusual.”

Chell waved one hand in the air dismissively before remembering that the AI couldn’t actually  _ see _ her in here, only feel her interacting with the wall or floor. With this, Chell aggressively smacked the back of her hand against the wall near her head. A bit too aggressively, actually. Chell hissed in pain and pulled her hand to her chest, cradling it with her other hand.

Understandably, GLaDOS was confused by what this meant. “Don’t tell me you’re sick. There’s no medicine down here, and-”

Chell rolled onto her back and heaved a sigh as the AI kept talking. She wasn’t going to let her go back to sleep. She rubbed her eyes and sighed again in defeat before getting out of bed.

“-probably expired, and- Oh,” GLaDOS stopped when Chell stood up. “I wasn’t serious, you know. If you’re sick, I don’t want you spreading bacteria throughout my facility. Not that anyone else could be harmed by it, but still-”

Chell interrupted her by gently drumming on the doorframe of her bathroom with her fingertips. It was how she acknowledged her nearly every morning, and she hoped that using the familiar gesture would let GLaDOS know that she  _ wasn’t _ sick. 

Luckily, it worked. “Well, if you aren’t sick then I suppose you were just exhibiting  _ laziness _ . What an awfully  _ human  _ trait.”

Chell rolled her eyes with a smirk on her face. GLaDOS could insult her all she wanted, but she couldn’t hide the fact that she was unmistakably worried about Chell’s health for a few moments. She quickly brushed her teeth and washed her face, and took a few moments to observe her new reflection in the mirror. Chell took a deep breath, then made a decision. She walked back out into her room and quickly changed, eating some fruit from her small fridge before putting on her boots. She grabbed her portal gun and stepped out of the room.

“You-!”

Startled by GLaDOS’s tone of surprise, Chell looked up at the nearest camera, which had started tracking her as soon as she entered the hallway. She watched it, waiting for her to start speaking again.

“Well,” GLaDOS’s voice was low. “I hope you didn’t leave a mess of hair in that room.”

Chell felt heat rush to her face when she realized that GLaDOS was shocked by her newly cut hair. It hadn’t even occurred to her that she might care at all, much less react to it. Part of her couldn’t help but wonder if she liked it. She pushed that aside, though. GLaDOS didn’t care for human aesthetic.

GLaDOS spoke up again in an oddly chipper tone. “By the way, you-” 

The audio feed was cut off, and Chell had a feeling that Caroline was being deleted again. Chell dismissed this. She had more important things to focus on right now. She quickly made her way to the Central Core’s main chamber, marching in as the chassis swiveled to face her. 

The optic moved up and down, sizing her up. “What do you want?” GLaDOS asked suspiciously.

Chell blanched, realizing the weight of what she was about to ask for. Her expression quickly became resolute again and she took a breath.

“I need to see my file.”

GLaDOS stared at her silently for a few moments. Chell stared back, not breaking her gaze. Eventually, the chassis turned away slightly.

“That’s unfortunate. I don’t have them.”

Chell blinked a few times, registering what she’d said. “What?”

GLaDOS sighed and turned back to her. “I’ve already tried looking for them. Believe me, I wanted to know as much as possible about the person who murdered me, especially back when I had similar plans in mind for you. But for some reason, your files were never transferred into my system. All that’s in here is your name. Well, part of your name. Everything else was probably kept on paper.”

Chell felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. “You mean you don’t even know my full name?”

The yellow optic narrowed. “Don’t you?”

This time it was Chell’s turn to look away. She  _ didn’t _ know her full name. She only knew herself as Chell. She didn’t even know if Chell was a nickname, if it was short for anything.

GLaDOS noticed her silence and continued speaking. “You’re probably better off not knowing, anyway. Either you were a scientist who was required to test, or you signed on directly to become a subject. If it’s the latter, your life probably wasn’t very fulfilling. I’m sure you recall that Aperture wasn’t exactly attracting the likes of war heroes and Olympians anymore.”

Chell realized something. “So then you  _ don’t  _ know for sure that I was adopted.”

The faceplate made a movement that somehow reminded Chell of a human grimace. “Technically? No, I don’t know. Not for sure, at least. But like I said, if you were a direct test subject, your life was probably not happ- Where are you going?” She called after Chell, who was walking towards the door.

“I’m going to find my file,” She said stubbornly. 

“Wha-” GLaDOS sighed before moving a few panels to block the door. Chell turned back sharply and glared at the chassis.

“I  _ told _ you,” GLaDOS said. “Your file was on paper, which means it’s long gone by now.”

Chell shook her head and eyed the incinerator. Noticing this, the AI blocked that off as well. 

“Let me out!” Chell said vehemently.

“I am not going to let you traipse through my facility, destroying things here and there, just so you can look for something that’s  _ gone _ .”

“It’s not gone,” Chell said, trying to adopt a calmer tone. “You’re saying that since it was on paper, it would have degraded long before now, right? Except I remember seeing papers and files fully intact when Whea-” She stopped. “When I was hiding from you.”

“Even if that’s the case, you have no idea where to start looking, and I-”

“So tell me.”

The chassis turned in surprise. “What?”

“This is  _ your _ facility, which means you know where any former records room would be, right?” Chell asked. “You can save us both the trouble by telling me where it is. I don’t have to waste time searching, and you don’t have to worry about me destroying anything.”

GLaDOS narrowed her optic, considering this. “Or,” she finally responded. “I could just keep you trapped in here until you either give up or drop dead.”

“Given my track record,” Chell refuted, “Do you  _ really _ want to trap me in here with you?”

GLaDOS fell silent again, and Chell knew she’d won. “Fine, I’ll help you. On one condition.”

Chell regarded the AI with suspicion. “What is it?”

“You have to start testing again.”

Stunned, Chell could do nothing but stand there, staring at the chassis. “ _ Testing? _ ”

“You’re reluctant,” GLaDOS observed.

Chell scoffed in disbelief, still unable to properly form a cohesive response. Of course she was reluctant.

“I understand.” The chassis turned a bit and the faceplate nodded. “Trust me, this isn’t a route I would prefer to take, either. You  _ did _ kill me after testing once, and decapitated me the other time.”

Chell winced at the wording. She’d never thought of it as decapitation before.

GLaDOS continued. “But, unfortunately, I’m at an impasse. My robots are very good at testing, and they’ve adopted many human behaviors, but they lack  _ one  _ quality that humans have.”

“Mortality,” Chell immediately responded, her expression grim. 

“Would it help if I said you’re much smarter than them? It took  _ weeks _ for them to figure that out.”

“I-” Chell stopped, still struggling to gather her thoughts and emotions. “You understand that I’d rather  _ not _ purposefully put my life in danger like that, right?”

“How do you think  _ I  _ feel?” GLaDOS asked. “In the past, when you tested, you had a seventy-three percent probability of failing and dying at some point.  _ I  _ had a zero percent probability of such. And yet, who was the one who ended up dying? Me. You’ve had a one-hundred percent success rate so far, as well as a one-hundred percent success at  _ escaping _ . Me? I’ve died twice at your hands - unbearably painfully, too, I might add. This is just as hard for me as it is for you.”

Chell sighed, trying to think of a way to explain her side. “But if I agree to test again  _ now _ , you’d have no chance of dying, and I’d still have a ‘seventy-three percent’ chance of dying,” She mimicked GLaDOS’s tone when repeating the percent.  “I never agreed to your tests previously, which is why I escaped both times.”

“You  _ did _ agree to testing-”

“I didn’t agree to  _ die _ at the end, though!” Chell interrupted fiercely. She took a breath before speaking again in a calmer tone. “You forced my hand.”

The chassis swiveled and moved closer to Chell so that the optic was mere feet from her. GLaDOS was silent for a few moments. “Technically, given your past performance, you now have a ninety-eight percent chance of  _ success  _ in testing.”

“Ninety-eight?” Chell asked.

“The other two percent is due to factoring in your weight,” She said flippantly, looking her up and and down before moving away.

Chell heaved a sigh, lost in thought. She didn’t want to admit that a part of her used to  _ relish _ in testing. Fifty thousand years ago, before realizing the AI’s plans to kill her, she’d genuinely enjoyed the experience. Chell had always loved solving puzzles, and she’d be lying if she said that using portals to launch herself in the air wasn’t exhilarating. In spite of this, she still had to factor in the danger as well as the psychological trauma she’d experienced while testing - trauma that she was still recovering from. It was bad enough that she was back in this place, but  _ testing again _ ? That would really be risking her mental and emotional health.

GLaDOS watched Chell. “You’re  _ really _ considering this. Here I’d thought it’d be a lot harder for me to convince you. Just how important is that file? It’s not like there’s much in there that you wouldn’t already know.”

Chell looked away in embarrassment. “I-” She stopped, crossing her free hand over herself, unable to will herself to admitting anything to the AI. “I  _ don’t _ -” She stopped again.

“You don’t...know?” GLaDOS moved closer again, her voice a bit softer. 

Chell looked up again to see that the faceplate was only a couple feet from her, the yellow optic wide and staring at her openly. She felt herself blush. She held her gaze, though, as she spoke. “No,” She said. “I...can’t remember.”

The optic looked away and then back at Chell. “I understand,” She finally said before turning away again.

Chell was surprised - GLaDOS almost  _ never _ understood “human” issues. Then she remembered Caroline. That was an entire part of GLaDOS’s history - of her  _ being _ \- that she hadn’t even known existed until a year ago. For once, she was actually able to relate to Chell.

The two were silent for a few moments until GLaDOS slightly glanced back in Chell’s direction. 

“I’ll help you,” She said, masking the reluctance in her voice. “We can discuss this later.”

Chell blinked in surprise, staring at her. If there was one trait they both shared, it was infinite stubbornness. She was surprised that GLaDOS had dropped the point so willingly.

“I have evidence of an old records room somewhere in the facility,” GLaDOS’s voice had returned to its usual apathetic tone. She turned fully towards Chell. “It’s quite far from here - past some old testing tracks and deep within the offices.” The sound of buttons being pressed intermingled with her voice as she continued. “I can get you close with a Pneumatic Diversity Vent, but you understand that I can’t help you past that point.” A panel behind Chell moved aside to allow a vent to enter. It stopped right above Chell so that GLaDOS would only need to turn it on in order for her to be sucked into it.

Chell sighed. She hated traveling in these things. It was alright in theory, but in practice it was a very bumpy - and bruise-ridden - ride. She wasn’t going to protest, though. Not against GLaDOS’s rare moment of cooperation.

“Anything else?” Chell asked.

“Yes. Those rooms aren’t ventilated very well, so there  _ may _ still be  _ trace  _ amounts of neurotoxin. Do be careful. I’d rather not have to deal with extracting your- ” She paused as though she’d caught herself. “ -portal device.”

Chell regarded the gun in her hand. “Really?” she asked skeptically.

“Yes.” Her tone was slightly defensive. “Do you think we have thousands of dual portal devices lying around? We only have twenty-six. Anyway, have fun.”

Chell sighed and looked up at the vent positioned above her. She had a feeling this was going to be anything but fun.

As she heard the vent turn on and felt herself being lifted from her spot, she looked back and caught a glimpse of GLaDOS watching her intently before she was whisked away into the vent network.


	2. Confidential

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to upload this! Life got in the way, what can you do?
> 
> There are various links in this chapter for the sake of references and such.

Chell quickly tucked her knees in; curling up into a ball was the safest way to travel through these vents. Riding along air currents in a small tube only works for small objects. Chell had learned that the hard way when Wheatley was having the time of his life while she - who had made the mistake of lying flat in the vent - was being bent and twisted and bumped over and over.

A vent intersection came up, and Chell was forcefully knocked into another tube. She idly worried before assuring herself that surely this was the correct path-

“Oh,” GLaDOS’s voice rang out. “We’ll have to get you back on track.”

Chell sighed. This was going to be a long trip.

 

Eventually, Chell was finally shot out of the vent - and into a wall.

She managed to turn so that her left arm took the brunt of the hit rather than her face. After she dropped to the ground, she put down the portal gun so she could massage her arm for a few seconds, ignoring the camera that watched her. Picking it back up, she tugged at the door into the office area. It didn’t budge.

The door’s window was broken open, though, and Chell recognized portal-holding walls inside. She quickly portaled inside to find a large hallway, with many rooms and other hallways branching off of it. She searched the walls near her for any sort of directory - there had been arrows pointing to the neurotoxin generator as well as the daycare center, so why not the records room?

She had no such luck, though, and had to resort to asking out loud. “Do you have any idea _where_ exactly the records room is?”

“Do I have to do everything?” Was the only response she got.

Chell rolled her eyes and decided to just start moving, making her way past grey doors and empty hallways. She realized that some doors had signs on them while others didn’t. She bypassed any unlabelled doors and spent time wiping suspiciously green dust off of some signs so she could read them.

She came across a door that was very different from others. It was large, brown, and exuded importance. The second half of the sign had broken off, with no evidence of it being anywhere nearby. The rest was caked with dust so that all that could be made out was the C at the beginning. She quickly wiped off the dust, knowing that it would read ‘Cave Johnson.’ Instead, though, she was met with a different name.

‘Caroline’

Her last name was conveniently part of the sign that had broken off. No doubt ‘CEO’ had also been on that part of the sign.

Chell stared at the sign in awe as she recalled one of the last things Cave Johnson had said in his messages.

 

_“If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place.”_

 

Chell lightly touched the sign with her fingertips. So she’d done it, then. For however long before being poured into GLaDOS, Caroline had been in charge of Aperture. Chell smiled; she must have been one hell of a woman for an egotistical man like Cave Johnson to have trusted her with his pride and joy.

Curiosity overwhelmed her, and Chell reached down and tried the handle, expecting resistance. Surprisingly, the door opened easily. She looked inside to see a neat, modern-looking office.

It was as modest as the former owner was claimed to be, and if it weren’t for the layers of dust, it would be a very clean office. Various chairs were placed for guests to sit in, and there were a few long-withered potted plants in the corners. Filing cabinets lined the back wall on either side of the nearly-empty desk. There was no redundant plaque on the desk repeating Caroline’s name, only a 90s-style computer, a desk calendar, and a lamp. Chell noted that the desk chair was not the typical cushy chair of a CEO, but rather it was the same exact chair that sat at every other desk in Aperture. Directly behind the desk was a two-tiered bookshelf that was tall enough that both shelves were visible above the desk. The lower shelf, which was just below Chell’s shoulder, held various books and binders. The top shelf held several items: a few certificates and two pictures. One certificate seemed to symbolize a military contract in 1991, implying that Aperture _did_ get back on its feet after going bankrupt, with the others being of a similar nature. On the far right was a photo of a well-dressed Caroline shaking hands with [ President Perot ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_presidential_election,_1992).

Chell moved closer to inspect the picture. Caroline couldn’t have been older than sixty-five when this photo was taken. She looked almost the same as in the painting Chell had seen down in Old Aperture except that her hair - which was in a bun - was completely silver, and she had a few more wrinkles. The stress that she must have undergone throughout her life - and especially after Cave Johnson’s death - was really only evident in her hair color. Something about the photo seemed familiar to her. Caroline's smile revealed laugh lines around her eyes, and Chell couldn’t help but be in awe of a woman she’d never known. 

On the far left of the shelf was-

Chell’s breath caught in her throat when she saw the picture. It was black and white and depicted young Caroline and Cave. It was much older than the official painting she’d seen of them, and depicted them in a much different light, too.

They were both standing in what Chell assumed was Cave’s office. Twenty-something-year-old Caroline, with a cheeky grin, was reaching up to rest her elbow on her boss’s shoulder. He had one arm wrapped around her waist and the other on his hip, with his head thrown back in laughter at something Chell couldn’t guess. Both of their smiles were genuine and pure, and Chell couldn’t help but smile as she looked at the picture. It was clearly still taken when Aperture was still in its prime. Before the missing astronaut hearings, before going bankrupt. Chell quickly realized just how much she _didn’t_ know about a woman who was so significant in Aperture’s history.

What interested Chell the most was the dynamic depicted. Any stranger wouldn’t see a boss and his assistant, they would see equals. A team. It seemed important that they were seen and acted as such at a time when women were rarely, if ever, seen as equal to men. It was also significant that _this_ specific picture was on display among various achievements and successes, even though Chell didn't know why. It was clear that Cave always held Caroline in high regard, and she felt the same way.

 

_“She’s the backbone of this facility.”_

 

Chell took both pictures and quickly slipped them out of their frames and tucked them safely in her pocket.

She was about to leave the room in search of the records room when she stopped and glanced over her shoulder, eyeing the four filing cabinets. It was unlikely that test subject files were kept in here, but she figured it was worth a shot.

The drawers in the first cabinet took some persuasion to open, but they eventually complied. Chell looked inside to see that the files were all very neatly organized, but it was in a system that she didn’t know.

After a few minutes of digging and inspecting, Chell realized that the first cabinet held records of Aperture’s scientists. She decided to leave it alone for now; she couldn’t guarantee that she’d never been an Aperture employee, but she’d rather not waste her time looking in the potentially wrong spot.

Cabinets two and three held files of other employees - mechanics, janitors, etc. She got to the fourth cabinet and opened it up. The first file was labeled:

**TS: Ashcroft, Samuel**

Chell opened the file and quickly realized that ‘TS’ stood for test subject. She felt hopeful as she put the file back and thumbed through the rest in the first drawer, ignoring the alphabetically-organized last names and looking for the first name ‘Chell,’ or any name that Chell could be derived from.

The first drawer proved fruitless, so she moved on to the second one. She noted that there weren’t very many files in these drawers - not nearly enough to account for all the subjects Aperture must’ve had. Perhaps these were in here for a specific reason. She flipped through a few, hoping that maybe there would be something within the files to answer this question. No such luck.

The second drawer gave her a shock when she found a file labeled ‘Johnson, Michelle.’ Upon inspection of the file, though, it was clear that it wasn’t her. The picture inside was of a black woman in her late thirties. She later on found a Rachel Newman, but that wasn’t her either.

Chell sighed as she moved on to the third and bottom drawer. She crouched down and tugged on it and found that it wouldn’t budge. She grasped the handle with both hands and pulled to no avail. She looked and realized that there was a lock on this drawer. She sat back in confusion - none of the other drawers on any of the cabinets had locks on them. What was Caroline hiding in here?

She quickly stood up and started rifling through the desk drawers in search of a key, pausing occasionally to tuck her newly-shortened hair behind her ears. As she searched, it dawned on her that the drawers were organized alphabetically and the last file in the second drawer had been a Gabriel Young. If that were the case, then were there even test subject files in the bottom drawer?

At one point, she let out an exasperated sigh, which GLaDOS apparently took as an invitation to start speaking.

“Having trouble?”

Chell ignored her and continued searching.

“You’ve been in that room for a long time. You _do_ realize it’s not the records room, right?”

Chell stopped, her brow furrowed. “Do you know _where_ I am?” she asked.

It was a few moments before GLaDOS spoke again. “I know you’re not in the records r-”

“I’m in Caroline’s office.”

GLaDOS was silent for a moment before reacting. “You-?” The audio cut off and Chell was left alone.

After a few minutes, she had an idea. “You wouldn’t happen to have Caroline’s memories, would you?”

It took her a while to respond. “Nothing that would help you. Her scientific knowledge and her personality are in here, but not her memories. Well, nothing important. Or coherent.”

Chell sighed. It was worth a shot, even if it didn’t work. She continued searching for the key.

She eventually found that one of the desk drawers had a false bottom, with a key underneath. She optimistically tried it in the cabinet drawer - a perfect fit.

With a quick twist and a sharp tug, Chell had the drawer open. The contents were...confusing, to say the least.

There were binders, folders, and various objects scattered in the drawer, which did not match Caroline’s previously meticulous organization. Chell hesitantly picked up a binder and opened it, then paled as she realized what it was.

It was the transcripts of the senate hearings on missing astronauts. Quickly flipping through it, Chell realized how silver-tongued Cave Johnson had been when he wasn’t being an abrasive jerk. It was clear that he’d won over everyone in the hearing, so how did Aperture end up going bankrupt?

In the very back of the binder was a newspaper article that answered that exact question. ‘ASTRONAUT SCANDAL RUINS APERTURE PRESTIGE,’ the headline read. Apparently, news of the hearings was enough to ruin the company’s reputation, even if the claims were refuted.  Interestingly, the accompanying picture was not of Cave Johnson, but of Caroline. She was walking away from the cameraman, and clearly surrounded by other paparazzi. She was looking back over her shoulder, though, and her gaze happened to be intently focused on the cameraman. There was a hostile dignity about her that reminded Chell of a severe old woman, even though she was only in her thirties at the time of the picture.

Chell put the binder back and picked up another. This one was full of newspaper clippings spanning Aperture’s history, with various headlines. A few caught Chell’s eye.

LOCAL ENTREPRENEUR BUYS SALT MINE

APERTURE SCIENCE INNOVATORS - BUILDING A BETTER TOMORROW

OLYMPIANS FLOCK TO APERTURE TESTS

APERTURE WINS SECOND PLACE IN SCIENCE

APERTURE FALLS RUNNER-UP TO BLACK MESA

CAVE JOHNSON'S INTER-OFFICE ROMANCE

APERTURE TO WIN GOLD - IS IT POSSIBLE?

APERTURE PRODUCT PULLED FROM SHELVES

CAVE JOHNSON GOES BANKRUPT

APERTURE HIRES RECORD AMOUNT OF FEMALE SCIENTISTS

TELEPORTATION - A FEAT OF THE FUTURE

As Chell flipped through the binder, she realized something. Up until about 1965, any and all pictures accompanying these articles depicted either Cave Johnson or something directly related to the article. After that, Caroline’s face is peppered throughout the articles, starting with the one that speculated about an inter-office romance, where she was pictured standing behind her boss. Pictures started to depict either Cave, Caroline, or both. In most pictures, she was standing beside Cave or was off to the side. There were only a few - such as the astronaut article - where she was shown by herself. Even so, her name was almost _never_ mentioned. Occasionally, photos were captioned with ‘Cave Johnson and his assistant.’ The very last article caught her eye.

CAVE JOHNSON’S ASSISTANT TO TAKE HIS PLACE

The 1982 article featured a picture of Caroline that was from the 1960s. Even this article barely mentioned her by name, and her last name was nonexistent.

There was an unsettling feeling in Chell’s stomach as she returned the binder to the drawer and picked up the last one. She quickly realized that it wasn’t a binder, but a photo album containing various pictures.

The very first picture depicted Caroline with her parents at what Chell assumed was her high school graduation. Eighteen-year-old Caroline was wearing a cap and gown, smiling with her parents on either side. After that, there were a few depicting various parts of Aperture and a few of Cave Johnson. In one, he had his arms crossed and was focused on something behind the camera. Chell realized that Caroline had to be the person behind the camera for most of these photos. Was it a hobby of hers?

There were various photos of different parts of Aperture. Cave’s empty office. A break room. An enrichment sphere. Another picture of Cave had him sitting at his desk with a dull look on his face as he looked into the camera. _“Not another picture.”_

Eventually, there started to be more pictures of Caroline, with little guess as to who the cameraman was. Most of them were blurry candids, with her looking up from her desk with surprise or looking over her shoulder with the same expression.

There was one of her sitting at her desk, her forehead resting in one hand as she pored over documents. Her expression was tired and her other hand was waving dismissively. _“Not now, I need to work.”_

The pictures containing both of them were definitely the best, though. There was one of Caroline sitting in Cave’s chair while he stood off to the side with his arms crossed, pretending to be upset that his chair was occupied.

There was another where he sat at his desk while she was partially sitting on a corner. She had a smirk on her face and there was a grin on his.

Another one was taken a bit closer up. The two had been standing side-by-side, but the picture was taken from a spot on Caroline’s side so that she was in the foreground and he was in the background. He was looking up from the coffee mug in his hand in surprise, while she was grinning at the camera.

One picture was clearly depicting the time that they’d recorded the first voice message that Chell had heard in Old Aperture. He was sitting at his desk with his hand on the tape recorder, looking up at Caroline, who was sitting on his desk again with her legs crossed and a clipboard in her lap. Her hands were poised as though she had been in the middle of writing, but her upper body was turned towards the tape recorder on his desk. She had a smile on her face and her mouth was open in speech. _“Yes sir, Mr. Johnson!”_

In all of these pictures, the two read like a comedy duo rather than a businessman and his employee.

Chell flipped the page. At the top of this one was a slightly more serious picture of the two side-by-side. His arm was around her waist and they were both smiling professionally. Noticing a blank sleeve instead of another picture next to it, Chell realized that this was the parallel to the picture she’d found on the shelf. She took it out of her pocket to compare the two. They were taken in the same place, with similar poses. One was evidently the “official” picture for whatever the purpose was, while the other was probably taken right afterward.

Chell continued to flip through the album and noticed that the pictures became more serious. There were pictures of Cave Johnson giving speeches to his employees, pictures of him in front of journalists. There were pictures of Caroline with pursed lips and a steady gaze as she stood beside her boss. There were pictures of her giving testimony in court, with a sweet smile on her face and her eyes wide in innocence. Chell knew without needing to read any transcripts that Caroline was as silver-tongued as her boss and played the ‘innocent woman’ card when she needed to.

The next page showed an aging Caroline, the same one Chell had first encountered in the portrait down in Old Aperture. She was even wearing the same outfit as in that painting, except that her hair was up in a bun and she was wearing a lab coat. She was gesturing towards a table full of chemicals and tools, clearly giving a lecture to an unseen audience.

The last picture was nearly the same as the painting Chell had seen in Old Aperture. The difference was that Caroline was looking off to the side with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, and Cave had his head down in quiet laughter. Chell felt sad when comparing this picture to the other candids earlier in the album. The unstoppable team had started out so hopeful and optimistic, and now they were barely able to laugh. The world had worn them down, but they still kept going, relying on each other’s strength.

Chell knew why there were no more pictures after this. After Cave Johnson had accidentally poisoned himself, she imagined that Caroline had neither the time nor the desire to keep taking pictures. Chell wondered if the [ photograph](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3rXdeOvhNE&ab_channel=RoadrunnerRecords) of the silver-haired Caroline was the last one taken of her. She solemnly closed the photo album and debated whether to put it back in the drawer or take it. She eventually placed it on the ground beside her so she could decide later.

She rifled through the drawer and discovered two old cameras, among other things, that must’ve been Caroline’s.

She was certain that there was nothing else for her in the drawer when her hand brushed up against something at the back. She pulled out a file folder whose tab had been cut off. It wasn’t in as good condition as most of the other folders. She curiously opened it up. With a start, she was greeted with a picture of her own face.

Chell stared in wonder at a picture that had been taken over fifty thousand years ago. She was wearing the Aperture jumpsuit, and her hair fell down just past her shoulders. Her eyebrows were raised in a challenge against something that she couldn’t remember. Tearing her eyes away from the picture, her jaw actually dropped when she saw her name.

Her last name wasn’t just redacted from the file with the usual black ink, it was _physically cut out_ of the paper. Why was it so important to keep her last name a secret?

She tried to move past this and investigate the rest of the file. Height, hair color, eye color, these were all things she knew.

_Age: 24_

Huh, She thought. She hadn’t realized that she’d forgotten how old she was.

_Next of Kin: -----_

She stared in disbelief at another piece that had been cut out of the file. Why had Aperture hidden this information?

_Married: No_

Well, that answered that question. Chell continued to learn minimal facts about herself. She had an IQ of 135 and excelled in puzzle-solving. She had a bachelor’s degree in biochemical engineering but worked as a bank teller before she’d decided - for some reason - to become a test subject for Aperture.

She moved on to the next page, which contained an [ essay question ](http://theportalwiki.com/wiki/File:Lab_Rat_-_A_Page_From_Chell%27s_File.png) that test subjects were supposed to answer. She eagerly read the page in hopes of learning something more about herself.

 

**Essay Question 1-A**

**Why should Aperture Science accept you as a research volunteer and would anyone file a police report if you went missing?**

 

**\--HR Note: Subject refused to answer --**

 

Chell was stunned once again. What had motivated her to refuse to answer a question like this? More importantly, why did Aperture accept her as a test subject in spite of this? She knew that they weren’t exactly picky about their test subjects, but they had clearly accumulated numerous subjects by that point, so why accept her?

She moved on to read what seemed to be an evaluation at the bottom of the page.

 

_Highly intelligent and very quick to solve puzzles. Easily adapts to new testing environments in order to work efficiently. Determination to solve puzzles has her finishing tests in record time! Excellent test subject, highly recommended._

_-Caroline_

 

Chell stared at the notes. Caroline _herself_ had evaluated her. She knew from searching through the other files that almost all of the other test subjects were evaluated by random scientists. What made her so special?

The rest of the pages in the file were of a similar nature; an essay question was posed followed by a note saying she’d refused to answer.

 

**Essay Question 3-B**

**Please note if you have ever passed out, become nauseous, or otherwise negatively reacted in the event of any of the following: Gravity Reconfiguration, Earlobe Disconnection, Fingernail Vaporization, Neural Irradiation, Muscle Crystallization, or Time-Space Deterioration.**

 

**Essay Question 5-A**

**In the event of your death, disappearance, or an absolute disintegration of your entire being, do you have any prior remarks on Aperture and its employees?**

 

She moved on to the last page in the file, her eyes widening in recognition. It was an outlier report with a bell curve disclosing that she was in the ninety-ninth percentile in regards to tenacity level. She remembered seeing this same chart painted on one of Aperture’s walls. Below the chart was a note.

 

**Test subject is abnormally stubborn. She never gives up. Ever.**

 

Off to the side were the words “REJECTED: DO NOT TEST.”

Chell sat back, feeling an emptiness in her chest. All this effort and she’d barely learned anything about herself. She knew she was stubborn. She knew she was intelligent. The only tangible information she’d learned about herself was her age and her degree major. Everything else was still just speculation.

Her gaze fell on the photo album laying next to her. At least it hadn’t been a completely worthless excursion. She quietly reopened the album and took the two photos out of her pocket. She returned the one to its rightful spot, then flipped forward a few pages to put the last photo in an empty sleeve. She observed it for a few moments, realizing that it was the only color photo in the entire album. With a deep breath, she closed the album and slipped her file on top of it. She stood and took her portal gun from where she’d left it on the desk, cradling the album and file in her left arm.

She left the room - and the rest of the office area - without looking back. She now had more questions than she’d walked in with, and almost none of her previous ones had been answered. Why was her information kept a secret? _Who_ was so determined to keep it that way? Was it Caroline?

The camera on the wall outside the office area started tracking her as she exited her portal.

“I was beginning to think you’d fallen asleep in there.”

Chell ignored her and started navigating through the facility, opting not to take the vent system back. She didn’t want to risk losing either of the items she was holding.

It took a lot longer, but eventually she came to an intersection where she could either turn and head towards GLaDOS’s chamber or keep walking back to the relaxation center. A camera on the wall watched as she stopped to contemplate her options.

“You seem disappointed.”

Chell huffed and kept walking, ignoring the cameras that watched her curiously as she passed. When she got to her room, she set down the file and photo album on her desk before collapsing on her bed. She covered her eyes with her arm and sighed, feeling exhausted for no reason.

GLaDOS made another attempt at conversation. “Did you find it?”

Chell refrained from groaning in annoyance, instead staying silent, trusting that GLaDOS would get the message.

It worked. After a few moments, the lights switched off. She’d transitioned the room to its night cycle even though it was much too early. Chell wondered if she thought she’d fallen asleep. The silence surrounding her shifted, and Chell instinctively knew that it meant GLaDOS was no longer actively paying attention to her room.

Chell removed her arm and stared at the ceiling, feeling both exhausted and anxious, with no explanation for either feeling. There was something else there, too. Despair. She’d been so certain that she would learn something from her file about herself. Instead, she came back with more questions and more confusion. Why was her file separated from the others and hidden in a locked drawer? Why was her information redacted? What reason did Caroline have to hide her existence?

Chell let out a sigh and was surprised to feel tears welling up in her eyes. She did nothing to stop them, though. It had been a long time since she’d last cried. She laid there, silently crying, wondering what to do next.

She didn’t know how much time passed before she fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked it!
> 
> This chapter was a little bit different from what I normally write. Much more descriptive. I really wanted to speculate on Cave and Caroline (and their dynamic) a bit differently from how they're normally seen/written. The comedy duo dynamic was based off [this](http://fuchsiamae.tumblr.com/post/44937132334/goodbye-caroline) analysis of one of Caroline's few lines in Portal 2.
> 
> I've started a few pieces centered on Caroline that I hope I can tie in with this series (maybe a separate but kinda parallel one that takes place during Caroline's lifetime). I haven't written much, though, and there's no knowing if/when I'll ever post any of that because I'm primarily focused on this series right now.
> 
> If you have any thoughts on this or have any feedback on this fic, feel free to comment below! You can also find me at [alexandriansight.tumblr.com](http://www.alexandriansight.tumblr.com)
> 
> ~~Also I'm sorry about the Nickleback link~~

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter two will be on its way soon! Thanks for the read!


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